You’ve been dating this person for a while, and public opinion dictates that after some time a romantic relationship should get physical. You’re old enough, and all your friends have done it already. It’s about time you’ve done it too. So you buy condoms, choose the place, and set the time and day. Now you’re ready to have sex for the first time, right? Well, think again.

First-time sex is not about catching up with your friends; it’s about being ready. And this is not only about having condoms -which it’s pretty important too-, it’s about having your mind and emotions ready to face all the challenges of active sex life.

But what are all these challenges? And how do you know if you are up for them? Here you will find the 5 must-haves you need for your first-time sex –and for all the next times, too-. So keep reading and start jotting down this checklist.

1. Responsibility

Being responsible means accepting the consequences for what we say and do. To accept the consequences of something, you need to be aware of them. So, if you want to start having sex, you need to know everything about it, from its perks to its risks.

But be careful of where do you get your information. Real sex doesn’t look like the one you watch in the movies. You have to educate yourself in the right places. For starters, you could talk to someone you trust –family or friends-, or you could book an appointment in a health care service organization like https://www.plannedparenthood.org/. You can also find specialized information about sex education here at Coachteen.

Once you know all the possible risks of sex, you need to be prepared to face them responsibly. You can’t blame others for your actions. If something goes wrong, you’re the one to blame. So before rushing into having sex, think carefully about your willingness to accept the
consequences.

2. Maturity

You are probably thinking, “If I’m 18 I am mature enough, right?” Well, the truth is that age doesn’t guarantee maturity. You could be 30 and still be immature. What defines maturity is your ability to understand and manage your decisions and emotions.

If you have your mindset up on having sex, you need to understand your choice to be sexually active. Think about the real reasons you want to do it: if it’s something you want or something you’ve been pressured to do. Remember, sex is an essential part of every person, one that is very private and personal, and no one can decide for you.

Before making this decision, you need to consider your emotions too. If you’re choosing to have sex for the wrong reasons, you might experience some stressful feelings. This should be your first red flag. Sex shouldn’t be stressful.

3. Respect

Being respectful is an essential part of every relationship, especially when it involves sex. You’re respectful when you are considerate towards the feelings of others, and this behavior should be mutual in your sexual relationships.

Make sure you’re with a person you respect and respect you. If you or your partner says “No” or feels unsure about any sexual activity, both of you should respect that. Receiving consent shouldn’t be taken lightly. Always talk openly with your partner and ask about their feelings. If you’re in a relationship where you cannot do that, you should take sex off the table.

4. Confidence

You know how important it is to talk openly with your partner, and this can only be done when you confide in them. You can expect to have sex without talking honestly with your partner about what you both want and are comfortable doing.

We know how shameful can be to talk this intimately, but when you really trust someone, you can open up completely knowing they wouldn’t judge you, instead they will support you. That’s how you know you’re in a healthy relationship.

5. Protection

You know from A to Z about sex, you thought deeply about making the decision, and you are absolutely sure your partner respects you. The last item on the list is the ultimate prove you’re trustworthy and responsible towards your and your partner’s well-being.

If you did your homework and learned everything about the risks of sex, you will be ready to take precautions against STDs and unplanned pregnancy. This is when the right information will come in handy to help you choose the appropriate protection for you and your partner. Don’t just go to the drugstore and buy the first condom you see: educate yourself and make the right decision.

Relationships involve two people. It’s not enough if you are the only one who marks all the must-haves on the checklist; your partner has to be ready too. So before your first-time sex, make sure you both comply with this list.

What other must-haves do you think are important for the first time? Leave us a comment with your ideas.